Love is not logical. In our human need to make sense of things and how and why they happen, we are missing the point when it comes to our love relationships. Love is a feeling, the expression of emotion. It is borne of desire. It is the mysterious nature of love that gives it the capacity to be both euphoric and deeply frustrating. In our efforts to make sense of the jumble of feelings it creates in us, we try to find a thread of logic. We want to make sense of the senseless. How do we do this? We do it by collecting evidence that supports our happiness.
Love is such a strong motivator and such an addictive feeling, that we are almost unstoppable in our quest to validate our feelings by seeking reciprocity from the one we love. We are voracious in our efforts to view any word, gesture or action as proof that love is ours to have. It’s the “love is blind” concept: when viewed through the eyes of adoration, everything our beloved does is adorable. So fragile is our ego, that we are blinded to anything that would stop us in our quest. From an evolutionary perspective, this makes sense. Putting our hearts on the line is risky business and if we weren’t blinded from the potential pitfalls, we would likely never take the risk.
Why make yourself so vulnerable? Most would agree that there nothing more excruciatingly painful than a broken heart. So, stop looking for logic in love. There isn’t any. We skew the “evidence” in our favour to give us the bravery to proceed at all. Think of the times you felt you were in love with someone and believed that the match was perfect, except that they didn’t seem to see it yet. You tell yourself, “it would be so perfect if you just saw what I see”. We are blind to any evidence to the contrary when it is OUR heart that is pumping madly, yet we are amazed when the one pursuing us does not seem to accept that we are not feeling the same way. Same driven desires, same factual evidence, just differing perspectives. It all depends on whose heart is desperately keeping the blinders on.